Assassination Custard, Dublin 8

Assassination Custard, Dublin 8

Assassination Custard

It’s been on my radar for a long time. “You have to try this place, it’s amazing” – Emma of Gaillot et Gray (where I worked as a baker) uttered the guts of a year ago. I had been meaning to go when I worked in town but my early start each day left me craving sleep once I finished, ย so I always headed home instead. I don’t regret many things in life but the fact that it took me so long to eat at Assassination Custard is certainly one. I finally had the opportunity when my Mother needed a bit of moral support to driveย to the big smoke recently and I had some time to kill.

We’re flying up the Long Mile road and being somewhat used to Dublin roads, I’m astounded at the lack of traffic. It’s the Tuesday after the Easter Holidays – maybe Dublin hasn’t sprung into life just yet. We park the car and go our separate ways, I have an hour and it’s a 20 minute walk away. I’ll run back if I have to, I have to get there! Luckily Google Map’s 20 minutes is more like 10 minutes for a brisk walker like myself and I arrive to a tiny cafe with just 7 seats. It’s busy, all but one seat is taken and I squeeze myself between 2 couples at the larger table. Almost immediately, the smaller table beside me frees up so I scoot over; I like to have space to eat.

The menu is presented on a small brown bag but I instantly have a problem – there isn’t a single thing I don’t want to try! Unfortunately, ordering everything isn’t really an option. I settle on the Panelle (Chickpea Fritters) and Kid Goat’s Kidneys with Aioli. The Panelle arrive first. They are a revelation – without ever tasting them, I imagined them being rather bland but with a liberal sprinkling of sea salt, they are perfect. So perfect in fact, I order a second portion! Between servings of fritters, my goat kidneys arrive. Still pink, they are so mild and delicate, it’s hard to believe they are kidneys at all. They are perfectly seasoned, as is the homemade aioli and the warm bun adds just the right amount of carb goodness. I use my second portion of Panelle to mop up any leftover sauce – I am seriously in my element here.

It wouldn’t be a proper lunch without something for dessert. I spot some interesting looking meringues at the counter and enquire. “They’re ugly but good” – sold! Crispy on the outside and chewy on the inside, with a subtle warming hint of cinnamon, it’s the perfect accompaniment to my flat-white. I take a minute to savour my dessert while watching the rain fall outside the window and a couple of minutes later, I’m in it getting soaked, running to catch my lift.

I loved my lunch at Assassination Custard. The owners are friendly, knowledgeable and happy to chat to their customers. The menu is well thought out and changes daily depending on what’s available. The cooking is top notch – I would go so far as to say that this is the best lunch I’ve had in Dublin.

Very Highly Recommended.


Assassination Custard
19 Kevin Street Upper
Dublin 8
087 997 1513

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